Teaching Daughters

Image I look at this photo, and wonder. I wonder how a young girl who appeared to have a million chances to lay a path for her future could have it go so terribly wrong, while at the same time influencing the world. Does this mean the world follows her, no. But, she does influence some. To others, this is the laughing stock she has become…Image

I did not put the worst possible picture up, because I will not further her influence of trashy behavior.  What has feminism become? When nudity and sex is the prevailing force behind what women began fighting for so long ago? I have to wonder if they would be disgusted with today’s women and the behaviors that are being thrown around as women’s liberation. They began with simply fighting for equality. A voice, the right to vote, so that they could have an opinion. So, that when politics came up in conversation, their opinion mattered and they didn’t stand in the background of conversation. Where they were to be seen, and not heard, as children were once said to be, and are sometimes still said to be.

So, what would they say? Would they grab each and every woman by the ear and drag us around and scream that this is not what we were fighting for! We were fighting for equal footing sure, but not this. Not so women could run around scantily clad looking like fools! What are we as women really saying? That sex can get me anything I want? Really? How many marriages are successful today with that motto? How many families are destroyed by sex sales? By affairs of many forms? How many heartaches are felt as the children suffer the hardest blows?

Sure, equality is a good thing, but in the right ways, and ladies, I am here to say that we have lost sight of that. I would rather teach my children that, then teach them that we are on the right track, because, pardon my bluntness here, that is BULLSHIT! We are so far off track that we look like fools, see example above.

There are many women who can pull of classy, well mannered, well behaved, and they do it without selling their very souls. Because sex is attached to the soul. You lose a piece of yourself with every partner you have. So, therefore, choose wisely. Dress modestly, and save your heart and soul for the one that is going to appreciate the real  you. Not the fake façade that you put on as armor against the world. Because that is not love. That is not going to gain you anything but heartache.

What you will gain is being lost. Broken. AND one day left wondering how the hell I got here? Then, you will look back and see the road to hell is paved with bad choices. So, learn from mistakes, even from the ones you didn’t yourself make. Heed the advice and warnings of your predecessors, and understand that you are on a one way trip to the land of insanity. Where you will lose that land of happiness you think you are carving. Because truth is, you are creating bad habits, and those habits break what you will later try to build.

And, truth is, this is good advice for both sons and daughters, I can only tell from the perspective of a girl though. And the fight that our ancestors fought to give us the rights we take for granted. Hope you heed the warning of a previous generation.

 

Modern Vs Generational Knowledge

I remember when I became a parent, my grandmother would try to pass on knowledge about how to handle certain things like teething and colic with my children, and my answer was always well the doctors said blah, blah, blah. But, now, I am really wondering if I did a disservice to myself, and my children. The reason is because we are having to go back and relearn the knowledge of the past. Why? Because of things like antibiotic resistance, which in a matter of just a few generations has become a serious problem. And today’s doctors don’t know how to treat patients when antibiotics fail. That is the harshest truth. The don’t have the knowledge about the naturally occurring antibiotics that will treat infections, and there are some out there, otherwise, how did the human race ever survive before the modern doctor?

So, maybe my Grandmother wasn’t wrong, or that crazy old lady who wasn’t up to date. Maybe we were the ones who had it backwards. Is there a place for modern medicine. Yes. But everything has it’s place. And so must the wisdom of the past take it’s place, and be past forward as well, only then can we achieve a true harmony of knowledge in health. Healing must come from not just the physical, but also a complete understanding that the person is a complexity. Mind, body and soul. And those things must be in balance to have proper health. We have lost sight of this in modern medicine. We treat mind, and body, but often we forget the soul. Once we begin to truly nourish that which we are, we might just have a much more decent world to live in.

I don’t know what exact knowledge or beliefs my grandmother had, but I know the journey I now partake. So, it’s to the land of learning that I gladly will go. If you ever come to the point where antibiotics don’t work for you, at least you will know that there is another door to go through.

Stupid Stamp

One day, I looked at my ex, and his bliss, and thought do I have that same stamp of Stupid on my forehead? Then it dawned on me, of course I do. Why, because, as the ex, I know all of the horrid skeletons, but as the new kid on the block, I am still discovering all the wonderful things, so I am willing to overlook the skeletons for now. Eventually, as usual, they will catch up on the scales, and well, it will then come down to which outweighs the other… the skeletons, or the wonderful?

So, for now, I dawn my stupid stamp happily oblivious. When it catches up to me, people can either tell me I told you so, or they can congratulate me. We shall see.

But, well, I am happy, and that is all I need to know.

 

What Does It Mean?

Every year the hustle and bustle of the season comes, and the joy of it seems to be lost. Where has it gone? But, this year, this year the kick in the teeth seems especially gritted in. Especially when my son thinks he is on the naughty list because of the actions of another. He’s not. I am fighting with every breath I have to come up with a miracle cure to this holiday season, and well, it is an up hill climb.

So, I have come to look at this with a different approach than seasons before. It has not been easy, and to open the youthful eyes, well that maybe the hardest job of it all. The gifts that they are used to receiving will not be the ones decked out in bows under the tree this year, and this they already know. But, the valuable lesson, the ones they will be receiving have so much heart involved. It took so much more time and thought and effort for them to come together, than the fight through the crowds, and the check out lines. These will be things that they can keep, and possibly treasure.

That is the goal of this year. To utilize what started out as a sad and depressing opening to a holiday season, as a chance to teach my children that it is never about the item you receive, but, it is about the love that is given. So, here’s to the hope that they learn about the biggest gift I can ever give, that never comes wrapped in a package other than the one that is in the human soul of who I am.

For everyday, they bring me joy, laughter, tears, and every wonderful emotion in between. Which is what life is made up of. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything! And that is the best gift they could ever give to me. I am truly happy!

The Rare Jewel

There are people, really good people, who take on a role in this world. A role known as the step-parent. I used to wonder why they called it that. But, I know why now. These people are called step-parents, because the STEP in and assume the role that was not DNA assigned to them. They give their hearts to the children that they choose to charge to their care. They love them as deeply as a human can love, and do their best to be equal and fair. They look at the best interest of the child in front of them, not the best interest of themselves and what they can gain in that moment.

These people, they are often unsung heroes. They are champions who come in and steer the course of a child’s life to a direction that without their input, may have been lost forever. And, I can say this, because I was that child. I was the child that had a person STEP in and assume a role that was never easy. I made it hell. BRUTAL hell at times. But, no matter what, he stuck by me. He never walked away and said you just don’t matter. He taught me a lot.

How do you thank some one for that? You can’t. You can only acknowledge the truth of their perseverance through the hardships of your anger at the world, and forgiveness on the other side. Because, though the name of step-parent is what they are given, it is because they step in when it seems like the world sometimes is running out, that maybe we become the people we may not have been without their influence.

So, here is too all the amazing step-parents of the world. This is a rarely recognized undertaking. I will even say a moment of gratitude to my daughter’s step-mother, as I know that she also helped mold my daughter into the amazing woman she is today.

 

Reflection and Design

I had purposefully stayed out of the debate regarding the death of Nelson Mandela up to this point on purpose. Most of what happened, was before I was born, but that didn’t stop me from looking back and learning about it. I didn’t stick my head in the sand, and blow it off. I knew that this man had affected many with his life, so I wondered why, and how.

But, I kept seeing people debate about his manner of how he got things done. And that is fine. Debate, have open conversations about this, in a respectable format. Because, maybe in this format, we learn something we just didn’t know.

At the same time, if someone simply wants to honor someone who has passed, allow them to do so. For, there is nothing wrong with stopping, and taking the time to reflect on one’s life. Both the successes and the failures. Maybe, that is the whole point. Utilize what was successful and carry it forward, and the things that were horrible and cruel, well, discard those into the places that only the past should bear. We can’t change the past, as much as we wish we could sometimes, BUT, we can change the future. It has not been shaped or molded. We only have the present to decide. And that is the gift of it all. So, take the present, and reflect on the past, then step into the future and mold it into the world that we most deeply desire it to be.

That world that is safe for our children, peaceful and kind, with morals and values. Respectful of others belief systems even if it is not the same as mine. When you look at the world through your children’s eyes, maybe then, and only then will you be able to view the world you really want to leave for them. Because looking through your own, well that allows for hate to intercede. Your child only allows for love.

So, design the world through your children’s eyes, I can only imagine a much better world in that view.

Meandering Wings

The isolated carapace who dreams internal
  Daydreams yonder borders she stifles…
  Mystic in shadows fallen and lame
  She ponders how she emerged as ashamed
  Her earlier illumination, now a shattered lamp
  By what virtue did her tenacity rupture in this camp
  Season up season chastening repression
  The rushing waters of monotony crowd
  Repugnant behaviors constant; unwaning.
  Weeping sorrows, no restraining.
  Utopias rosiness danced away
  The dashing Prince of Permanence strayed
  Cloaking in the veil of silence she roamed
  Her heart became the elusive stone
  Why administer blessings of love
  If the outcome is the injured dove
  Flapping upon mutilated wings
  She maneuvers a mount upon a tree
  No longer indulging her voice to sing
  She shelters seasons pace among her three
  Hoping unity is what they require
  Sustaining upon three’s desire
  Observant as the time does pass
  Miseries ever twinkling jab
  Biding her time ’til determination achieves
  She champions ‘Neath meandering wings
  Deceitful words stabbing their wounds
  She places herself in censorships tomb
  Smoothing her kiss upon three’s every wound
  Her censorship begins to become unwound
  She laid upon him the kiss of fury
  Singing the words of the deceptive story
  The dove begins to heal within
  And the glass begins to reform again
  The illumination is different than before
  But she’s still opening the sealed doors
  The dove begins to heal within
  The glass begins to reform
  The sun now shines once more
  And the three have their mother better than before.