Broken and Angry

Today, I am so frustrated. I am a single mother who is on welfare. Why? Because I was hurt in an elevator 13 years ago, and I have fought every since to find a cure.

What I have found after 13 years though, is that I am tougher than many people have ever realized I was. I have come back from said disability, found a treatment when I was told there was none, gotten off pain meds, and I am now fighting to go back to work. Do I have a fabulous resume for a fabulous job, no, and I don’t care. I will work at the fast food place, the grocery store, or even the convenience store, and I will do so with pride because I will know of all the fight it took for me to get there.

But for now, I am angry. I am looking at a society changing, and that is fine. But, there are people getting hurt by this society of change. There are good people who want to make their lives better and are being held back. For example, due to some of the medications I was on with the back injury, my teeth are destroyed. I mean destroyed. I don’t smile. And it will cost $10,000.00 to get the dental work necessary. I have applied twice to the dental assistance program, and have heard nothing. I have done all I need to do, and I get nothing, not even a letter of response.

And the saddest part is, this is why I don’t have a job. Why, I haven’t been hired, because I tried to get a job. I was told that the gentlemen would have hired me, if my smile wasn’t such a problem. He said, “let’s face it, in customer service, you have to be face to face with the people, and smiling is a part of the job.” 

So, basically, I was hired up to the point of one appearance flaw, and it is a major flaw. Yet, I can over come this flaw when I get to know people. But in the 3 minutes you interact with the public as an employee, that is not achievable without a smile. 

Truth is, people always think I am mad. Don’t believe me? Walk around for a week without smiling. See how long it takes for someone to wonder what is wrong with you. They will typically think you are angry or sad. This affects not just your work life, but your social life.

So, I am frustrated with a broken system where more people are becoming poor over less jobs, and people who are trying to get off the system aren’t able to do so because they can’t get the medical assistance necessary to complete one thing to allow them to work. One thing that in the end, is cheaper than keeping them on the assistance program for another year. So, why are we so off balance? Why are we pushing so hard to have such a haphazard social economy? Why are we not angry? Because, it isn’t just me I am fighting for here, it’s my children. What future do they have if we continue to live on welfare?


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