What a poignant question I was asked last night. It is a question I have been asked many times in relationships, and the knee jerk reactionary answer is no. But, upon further reflection I realized something. I had no choice but to truthfully answer yes.
How in the world could I answer in the affirmative? It wasn’t with malice that I answered the question this way. It was with honesty and love, and the realization that we cannot go through life without change. Everyone we meet leaves a print upon us, whether it is positive, negative, or neutral. We change with every interaction, and the longer two people interact, the more they have an influence upon the spirit of the person they are involved with.
Does this mean that I could control what someone is to become? NO, because there are many more influencing factors at play here, including the desires of one’s spirit for themselves. It’s just the influences that are there, which with influence change over time.
So, yes had to be the most honest answer one could give. But not with malice, harm or negativity involved. Because the spirit I see standing before me now, well, that is an amazing spirit to begin with, so why would I want to change it? Why would I want to turn it into a predetermined mold I have viewed in my mind that would only bind this spirit and cause harm, when the spirit standing before grabs my attention with ease already?
So, should we be manipulative to create change in the people of our lives? No, but we should be honest at all times, for we are the reflective surfaces that helps one to see themselves. Thus, that person can then choose whether it is something they wish to strive to change, or keep because they see it as a strength.