Stupid Stamp

One day, I looked at my ex, and his bliss, and thought do I have that same stamp of Stupid on my forehead? Then it dawned on me, of course I do. Why, because, as the ex, I know all of the horrid skeletons, but as the new kid on the block, I am still discovering all the wonderful things, so I am willing to overlook the skeletons for now. Eventually, as usual, they will catch up on the scales, and well, it will then come down to which outweighs the other… the skeletons, or the wonderful?

So, for now, I dawn my stupid stamp happily oblivious. When it catches up to me, people can either tell me I told you so, or they can congratulate me. We shall see.

But, well, I am happy, and that is all I need to know.



What Does It Mean?

Every year the hustle and bustle of the season comes, and the joy of it seems to be lost. Where has it gone? But, this year, this year the kick in the teeth seems especially gritted in. Especially when my son thinks he is on the naughty list because of the actions of another. He’s not. I am fighting with every breath I have to come up with a miracle cure to this holiday season, and well, it is an up hill climb.

So, I have come to look at this with a different approach than seasons before. It has not been easy, and to open the youthful eyes, well that maybe the hardest job of it all. The gifts that they are used to receiving will not be the ones decked out in bows under the tree this year, and this they already know. But, the valuable lesson, the ones they will be receiving have so much heart involved. It took so much more time and thought and effort for them to come together, than the fight through the crowds, and the check out lines. These will be things that they can keep, and possibly treasure.

That is the goal of this year. To utilize what started out as a sad and depressing opening to a holiday season, as a chance to teach my children that it is never about the item you receive, but, it is about the love that is given. So, here’s to the hope that they learn about the biggest gift I can ever give, that never comes wrapped in a package other than the one that is in the human soul of who I am.

For everyday, they bring me joy, laughter, tears, and every wonderful emotion in between. Which is what life is made up of. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything! And that is the best gift they could ever give to me. I am truly happy!

The Rare Jewel

There are people, really good people, who take on a role in this world. A role known as the step-parent. I used to wonder why they called it that. But, I know why now. These people are called step-parents, because the STEP in and assume the role that was not DNA assigned to them. They give their hearts to the children that they choose to charge to their care. They love them as deeply as a human can love, and do their best to be equal and fair. They look at the best interest of the child in front of them, not the best interest of themselves and what they can gain in that moment.

These people, they are often unsung heroes. They are champions who come in and steer the course of a child’s life to a direction that without their input, may have been lost forever. And, I can say this, because I was that child. I was the child that had a person STEP in and assume a role that was never easy. I made it hell. BRUTAL hell at times. But, no matter what, he stuck by me. He never walked away and said you just don’t matter. He taught me a lot.

How do you thank some one for that? You can’t. You can only acknowledge the truth of their perseverance through the hardships of your anger at the world, and forgiveness on the other side. Because, though the name of step-parent is what they are given, it is because they step in when it seems like the world sometimes is running out, that maybe we become the people we may not have been without their influence.

So, here is too all the amazing step-parents of the world. This is a rarely recognized undertaking. I will even say a moment of gratitude to my daughter’s step-mother, as I know that she also helped mold my daughter into the amazing woman she is today.


Reflection and Design

I had purposefully stayed out of the debate regarding the death of Nelson Mandela up to this point on purpose. Most of what happened, was before I was born, but that didn’t stop me from looking back and learning about it. I didn’t stick my head in the sand, and blow it off. I knew that this man had affected many with his life, so I wondered why, and how.

But, I kept seeing people debate about his manner of how he got things done. And that is fine. Debate, have open conversations about this, in a respectable format. Because, maybe in this format, we learn something we just didn’t know.

At the same time, if someone simply wants to honor someone who has passed, allow them to do so. For, there is nothing wrong with stopping, and taking the time to reflect on one’s life. Both the successes and the failures. Maybe, that is the whole point. Utilize what was successful and carry it forward, and the things that were horrible and cruel, well, discard those into the places that only the past should bear. We can’t change the past, as much as we wish we could sometimes, BUT, we can change the future. It has not been shaped or molded. We only have the present to decide. And that is the gift of it all. So, take the present, and reflect on the past, then step into the future and mold it into the world that we most deeply desire it to be.

That world that is safe for our children, peaceful and kind, with morals and values. Respectful of others belief systems even if it is not the same as mine. When you look at the world through your children’s eyes, maybe then, and only then will you be able to view the world you really want to leave for them. Because looking through your own, well that allows for hate to intercede. Your child only allows for love.

So, design the world through your children’s eyes, I can only imagine a much better world in that view.