Wow, it’s been a while since I wrote and well, I’ve been busy, but the one thing that is certain about a talktative woman is eventually, she’ll have something to say. Most recently, like it or not, my youngest flew the coup. I’ll be honest, it was quite the shock to the soul, but like the rest of life, you get up, you keep going, come what may.
So, now that I am a newly graduated momma of raising children, I have some thoughts.
- No one is completely sane after raising children, especially stay at home mommas. Our whole lives have revolved around the management and maintenance of little people, and we are so used to the words ‘what do you need’ that we don’t know how to stop asking. Not kidding. We also, don’t know how to let go.
- Be forgiving of yourself. Every parent makes mistakes, and in hindsight there is always a million things you could have done different, or handled differently. The absence of heightened emotions that were present in the moment brings a level head of woulda coulda and shoulda. A song we have all sung.
- Remember you are one person and could not be everywhere at once, even in this modern day of so much technology, we are still not able to morph ourselves in the blink of an eye, though the Jetsons promised us otherwise. Hey hey, future technological genius people, here’s your cue, I promise the aging population would appreciate it.
And there are probably a lot more that I could suggest of, but my mind just isn’t there yet…stay tuned.
For the newest generations of mommas and daddies, you don’t have to know everything, for guidance is out there, if you listen. Don’t over judge your parents, trust me, I’ve been there, done that and found out over the next twenty years why they were nuts, and on some level, when you get here, you will be too. Bad things happen to good people, that is definitely true, for I’ve seen it happen many times, more times that I have ever wanted to. No one does.
For those of you about to embark on the arrival of a blessed event, congratulations. This is going to be the most perfectly imperfect thing you ever do. It will be amazing and terrifying all in the same breath, soak in every moment you can, for just when you think they won’t ever grow up, they do. Momma, rest when you can, even if the wonky hours of delight don’t match up with the rest of the world, neither does the schedule of a hungry infant. If we call when you just finally get to sleep, we’re sorry, and highly recommend turning off the ringer when you do get to rest.
For those just dipping their toes in the shallow waters of parenthood, understand that this is the easy times, even if they can’t communicate yet. Trust me, when they can, you’ll sometimes wish they hadn’t. Out of the mouths of babes. You will understand…eventually.
And for those who have just crossed the threshold of childhood into adulthood, just stepping on the edge of the warm sands and thinking whew, I made it. Yes, congratulations you survived childhood. Now, it’s time to support your own needs, build your own dreams, and find your home in the world. I am always here, and if you should need, I will guide you. Part of letting go is trusting that you can do it, even if you are doubting yourself in so many ways right now. The fear is always the unknown, and part of finding your way is figuring out the unknown and making it a known so that you have the necessary knowledge to move forward.
It’s definitely an adventure, and where you start out may not necessarily be where you end up. And, sometimes the people you think are going to be there forever are not there at the next stage of your journey. Don’t take them for granted, for I cannot tell you how many people I miss now that they are gone, and some, I don’t miss that much at all. You’ll find your people. Part of adulthood is learning to build your own extended family in the world. It doesn’t mean anyone is loved less, just that life happens and decisions are made and once you do, you cannot always go back, even if you wished they would just hug you one more time.
Welcome to the funniest, craziest, most bewildering adventure on the planet…may the force be with you, for you’re going to need it.
Good Luck and Best Wishes…