What Does It Mean?

Every year the hustle and bustle of the season comes, and the joy of it seems to be lost. Where has it gone? But, this year, this year the kick in the teeth seems especially gritted in. Especially when my son thinks he is on the naughty list because of the actions of another. He’s not. I am fighting with every breath I have to come up with a miracle cure to this holiday season, and well, it is an up hill climb.

So, I have come to look at this with a different approach than seasons before. It has not been easy, and to open the youthful eyes, well that maybe the hardest job of it all. The gifts that they are used to receiving will not be the ones decked out in bows under the tree this year, and this they already know. But, the valuable lesson, the ones they will be receiving have so much heart involved. It took so much more time and thought and effort for them to come together, than the fight through the crowds, and the check out lines. These will be things that they can keep, and possibly treasure.

That is the goal of this year. To utilize what started out as a sad and depressing opening to a holiday season, as a chance to teach my children that it is never about the item you receive, but, it is about the love that is given. So, here’s to the hope that they learn about the biggest gift I can ever give, that never comes wrapped in a package other than the one that is in the human soul of who I am.

For everyday, they bring me joy, laughter, tears, and every wonderful emotion in between. Which is what life is made up of. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything! And that is the best gift they could ever give to me. I am truly happy!

The Rare Jewel

There are people, really good people, who take on a role in this world. A role known as the step-parent. I used to wonder why they called it that. But, I know why now. These people are called step-parents, because the STEP in and assume the role that was not DNA assigned to them. They give their hearts to the children that they choose to charge to their care. They love them as deeply as a human can love, and do their best to be equal and fair. They look at the best interest of the child in front of them, not the best interest of themselves and what they can gain in that moment.

These people, they are often unsung heroes. They are champions who come in and steer the course of a child’s life to a direction that without their input, may have been lost forever. And, I can say this, because I was that child. I was the child that had a person STEP in and assume a role that was never easy. I made it hell. BRUTAL hell at times. But, no matter what, he stuck by me. He never walked away and said you just don’t matter. He taught me a lot.

How do you thank some one for that? You can’t. You can only acknowledge the truth of their perseverance through the hardships of your anger at the world, and forgiveness on the other side. Because, though the name of step-parent is what they are given, it is because they step in when it seems like the world sometimes is running out, that maybe we become the people we may not have been without their influence.

So, here is too all the amazing step-parents of the world. This is a rarely recognized undertaking. I will even say a moment of gratitude to my daughter’s step-mother, as I know that she also helped mold my daughter into the amazing woman she is today.

 

Reflection and Design

I had purposefully stayed out of the debate regarding the death of Nelson Mandela up to this point on purpose. Most of what happened, was before I was born, but that didn’t stop me from looking back and learning about it. I didn’t stick my head in the sand, and blow it off. I knew that this man had affected many with his life, so I wondered why, and how.

But, I kept seeing people debate about his manner of how he got things done. And that is fine. Debate, have open conversations about this, in a respectable format. Because, maybe in this format, we learn something we just didn’t know.

At the same time, if someone simply wants to honor someone who has passed, allow them to do so. For, there is nothing wrong with stopping, and taking the time to reflect on one’s life. Both the successes and the failures. Maybe, that is the whole point. Utilize what was successful and carry it forward, and the things that were horrible and cruel, well, discard those into the places that only the past should bear. We can’t change the past, as much as we wish we could sometimes, BUT, we can change the future. It has not been shaped or molded. We only have the present to decide. And that is the gift of it all. So, take the present, and reflect on the past, then step into the future and mold it into the world that we most deeply desire it to be.

That world that is safe for our children, peaceful and kind, with morals and values. Respectful of others belief systems even if it is not the same as mine. When you look at the world through your children’s eyes, maybe then, and only then will you be able to view the world you really want to leave for them. Because looking through your own, well that allows for hate to intercede. Your child only allows for love.

So, design the world through your children’s eyes, I can only imagine a much better world in that view.

Why Won’t You Go Mom?

My daughter asked me why I don’t go to church. And what seemed like such a simple answer had such a deep response of emotion in me, that all I could answer was, “bricks and mortar!” But, after some thought, I knew the answer that had always been obvious to me, even if I didn’t have the words to say it. Jesus, the man depicted in the Bible and everything else I have read, and that’s a lot, didn’t teach in a church. He taught in the streets, among the people. He didn’t stand in a building, in a $3000.00 suit, he walked among the people. He threw the money changers out of the temple for that very reason. And, so thus to me, the church is a business. One that has lost the real sight of what the teachings were. To take care of your neighbor as a family. To live as a community. Because, we are after all, diverse, but all trying to figure out the very same question. What is my purpose on this Earth?

So, my dear daughter, I have always seemed to understand naturally, that God is everywhere. That I don’t need a building to believe in him. That I am the design I was made to be. I have come to figure out that fighting that design, brings my flaws into sharper contrast with the beauty I have to give the world. And that is a balance I hope to achieve.

If the church is where you feel you belong, then please, go. But, as for me and my faith, it is best served beyond the borders of the building.

That doesn’t mean I love you any less.

 

Life Through a View Finder

I like to observe. I see a lot of things, and often people hear about the annoying things that come to the surface. But, I spose it’s time they hear what I just don’t often have the words to express. So, I am going to give it a try.

I see life as moving art. I have often been known to say life through a viewfinder, one snapshot at a time. Because it is true. I see the lines of poetry in motion. The lines of a face so artistically drawn, when the person who owns this face can’t see it. The symmetry and beauty behind it. The beautiful, yet searing blue eyes, or the blazing chocolate almond eyes that flow into high cheek bones. I have found that the eyes are what draw me to a person the most, as they are the most expressive. There is so much of a story there, often times, more of a story than the person really wants to tell.

But, there are other lines. Like the lines of the back, with the way the muscles form. Or the lines of a leg in an extension when my daughter is dancing, and she flows so gracefully across the floor. The poetic movement that I can’t seem to capture on film. It’s something I can visually see, but the camera just does not do justice. The dimension involved, it is not there on film.

So often, they will catch me just simply staring, and they will ask me the what? thing, and I tell them nothing, because I just don’t have the words to tell them what it is that I am seeing. The perfect combination of color and form, that it is so striking that it just leaves me speechless. Sometimes, absolutely breathless. And I see this in everyone, but most often, in the people that I love.

I also see it in nature. The perfected artistic expression that I could never draw no matter how hard I try, and I draw well! But, a master artist such as that, I am not that accomplished. Besides, why would I imitate what has already been perfected? I would rather enjoy the poetry in motion, the life through a viewfinder, and be left speechless one moment at a time!

Intensity!

Daily Prompt: Intense!

Describe the last time you were surprised by the intensity of a feeling you had about something, or were surprised at how strongly you reacted to something you thought wouldn’t be a big deal.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us INTENSE.

 

I had to do this!!

It was a hot and humid day. I had been out most of the afternoon running errands and all I really wanted to do was just go home. To top this all off, my car broke down. I called my mother, not knowing where else to turn, to ask where to take my car to get it fixed. I hadn’t been in this town very long and had no idea where a honest mechanic would be located. My mom gave me the directions to a nearby shop.

I walked in, a hot sticky mess of pissed off, and saw this goofy smile staring back at me. I hesitated on putting my GRR face. This isn’t normal for my persona. I slowly lifted my gaze up to his eyes and I was lost in an endless, beautiful pale sea of blue. They weren’t cruel or agitated. The pools welcomed my soul into a place I could only describe as home. It was very calming, all the anger and stress of this hot day of hell suddenly disappeared into a dark mist and floated away. I wasn’t sure the connection that was thick in the air and space between us. All I knew is that he was important in my future. “Hi, How can I help you?” he asked gently as if he already sensed the connection. Our eyes met and I saw a small amount of confusion in his eyes that matched my own. I have never met this man but I know that he was from my past. Our paths have never crossed at any point in time of my life. Even as I had no information on this man I knew he felt the same. For the next couple years we didn’t touch. We talked and became close.

I helped him through some struggles and now three years after that moment in time we have progressed from talking over the counter. First, as best friends and then onto something more special; We are now much more than friends or acquaintances, we are family.

Do you want to change me?

What a poignant question I was asked last night. It is a question I have been asked many times in relationships, and the knee jerk reactionary answer is no. But, upon further reflection I realized something. I had no choice but to truthfully answer yes.

How in the world could I answer in the affirmative? It wasn’t with malice that I answered the question this way. It was with honesty and love, and the realization that we cannot go through life without change. Everyone we meet leaves a print upon us, whether it is positive, negative, or neutral. We change with every interaction, and the longer two people interact, the more they have an influence upon the spirit of the person they are involved with.

Does this mean that I could control what someone is to become? NO, because there are many more influencing factors at play here, including the desires of one’s spirit for themselves. It’s just the influences that are there, which with influence change over time.

So, yes had to be the most honest answer one could give. But not with malice, harm or negativity involved. Because the spirit I see standing before me now, well, that is an amazing spirit to begin with, so why would I want to change it? Why would I want to turn it into a predetermined mold I have viewed in my mind that would only bind this spirit and cause harm, when the spirit standing before grabs my attention with ease already?

So, should we be manipulative to create change in the people of our lives? No, but we should be honest at all times, for we are the reflective surfaces that helps one to see themselves. Thus, that person can then choose whether it is something they wish to strive to change, or keep because they see it as a strength.

Blessed

Racism vs. Racial Pride

I am well aware of the tension that this subject brings up. However, maybe it is a subject that it is time we addressed. One that must stop being brushed under the surface and pointed out into the light in order to be understood.

Race is a classification system used to categorize humans into large and distinct populations or groups by anatomical, cultural, ethnic, genetic, geographical, historical, linguistic, religious, or social affiliation.

• ra·cism
• [ ráy sìzzəm ]

1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races
2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior

Ok, correct me if I am wrong here, but those two definitions actually contradict each other! Race is the classification of humans into groups by cultural, anatomical, ethnic, and genetic traits! Wait, isn’t that racist? The belief that we are different based on these very characteristics? So what if we are built different! Is it not those differences that can make us stronger?

I am proud of who I am, and if my skin was a different color, would I still not have pride? So, does that really indicate who I am? No. However, it will not change that there are chunks of history that will never be able to be retrieved for my family.

I don’t  have a problem with the color of anyone’s skin. I don’t judge anyone on the color of their eyes, let alone the amount of melanin in their body. It just wouldn’t make sense to me. However, I will pass judgment on the amount of true honor, courage, compassion, and honesty. If these are not part of your persona, don’t waste your time with me. If you don’t care about yourself enough to have these traits, then don’t waste my time. Because I won’t.

Now, as for racial pride. This is an ancestral thing. This is the stories that families tend to hand down generation from generation, and they are different for every ethnic group. And there is one group in this world who can tell you how much the loss of the ancestral pride as a culture has hurt. Look at the Native Americans. Talk with them. They are trying to reconnect with the information lost to them after they had their ancestral lands taken from them.

Could this be why we as a society are so lost? There were morals to the ancestral stories. That is evident in the research I have been doing. What are we losing by becoming one world, with one religion and potentially one race? We are losing what God designed this world to be. The strengths of differences creating a balance that would continue to allow the world to grow. We have vastly undermined that balance, and we are harming ourselves. Look at how many people are emotionally disturbed! Now, do your own research, and see how often this comes up in history. Our ancestors left us clues, we just aren’t listening. But, as usual with the stubborn human race, we don’t listen until it is too late, and a hard lesson must be learned.